Are you completing the stress cycle?

Stress is a part of life, yet for many of us, it feels like an unending, draining cycle that’s only growing in velocity. I’m thinking about the fact that we are only a two months into 2025 and already the intense levels of stress and anxiety that are being felt and talked about in my office are palpable. There’s a growing awareness that we have to be more proactive to take care of ourselves and keep our minds and bodies strong or at the very least protected from the constant onslaught of new headlines that are even more stressful than the last. At Fig Holistic Psychotherapy in Charlotte, NC learning how to be proactive and support yourself with the increased loads of stress both externally and internally is an important part of the therapeutic work we are doing.

Something that I’m often inviting clients to build their awareness around is what is and isn’t in their control. Maybe you’re dealing with anxiety around the state of the country, you’re having friendship concerns, you have past trauma that you can’t seem to shake, or an eating disorder that is stealing the bulk of your joy…the parts of us that want to control things, that want to find sure answers are likely going to be flared up. Our bodies and brains crave predictability and familiarity. So when you don’t feel safe, it can be so much easier to focus on and want to change the things, people, and realities that you cannot. Unfortunately and fortunately a part of the human experience is not knowing regardless of what point in history we are in…or we are repeating. And with that, it is a much more frustrating experience to both be with the not knowing and also focus on and be curious about the places where you do have some agency, choice and power to change. It’s not all black and white. 

There’s a piece of psychoeducation that has felt incredible empowering to offer to my clients and that I want to offer to you as well in these tumultuous times. I find it’s a helpful way to grow our tolerance to the not knowing and a way we can make sure that we are taking care of our own bodies and minds. The old and annoying adage rings true here: you have to put on your own oxygen mask first. So, let’s get to it…I’d like to introduce you to the concept of “completing the stress cycle.” Also, this will be niche for some of you but if your news source has been coming from Aaron Parnas lately, let’s make sure he knows how to complete the stress cycle because keeping all of us informed is a stressful job to say the least. 

Completing the stress cycle is a phrase is coined by authors Emily and Amelia Nagasaki in their book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. It’s one of my top recommended books on my recommended reads page for good reason. They explore how stress affects our lives and how we can break free from its grip by “completing the stress cycle.” This idea is transformative because it highlights a fundamental truth: stress itself isn’t the problem; it’s how we deal with it that matters. And fun fact for us all: we have to deal with the stress…it’s not really an option to not deal with it at this point in time. 

Let’s explore what the stress cycle is, why it matters, and practical ways you can start completing the cycle in your own life.

What is the Stress Cycle?

The stress cycle is the process our bodies go through to respond to stress. When we encounter a stressor—whether it’s a demanding job, a new policy change that directly affects you, a family conflict, or financial stress—our brains signal a “fight or flight” response. This response releases a flood of hormones, like adrenaline and cortisol, to help us deal with the immediate challenge. But after the stressor passes, our bodies need a way to return to a calm state.

In the past, when our stressors were physical dangers, the cycle was often completed by escaping (flight) or overcoming the threat (fight)—think running away from a predator or fighting off an enemy. Today, however, many stressors are psychological or emotional, leaving us without a physical resolution. As the stress compounds, the impact on our system does as well and some of us find ourselves in a freeze or fawn state. Freeze is an exhaustive state where the gas and brakes are on at the same time. Fawning is where you are overly accommodating to the desires of another as a way of keeping yourself safe. All of this can trap us in a cycle where our bodies remain in a heightened state of arousal, which can lead to burnout, more trauma and long-term health issues if left unaddressed.

Why Completing the Cycle Matters

Imagine your body as a car, with stress hormones acting like the accelerator, revving the engine to respond to danger. But if you never release the pressure, your engine stays in overdrive, leading to wear and tear over time. Completing the stress cycle is like pressing the brakes—it allows your body to shift back into a relaxed state, reducing the negative effects of chronic stress.

Failing to complete the stress cycle can result in persistent exhaustion, irritability, and a sense of burnout. Over time, it can also lead to physical health issues, such as heart disease, digestive problems, and weakened immunity. The good news? You can take a breath because completing the cycle is within reach. And it’s often simpler than we think.

How to Complete the Stress Cycle

The Nagoski sisters outline several effective ways to help our bodies process and release stress. Here are some of the most impactful:

1. Physical Activity
   Exercise is one of the most effective ways to complete the stress cycle. When you engage in physical activity, your body gets the message that it’s “fleeing” from a threat. This can be as simple as a brisk walk, a dance session in your living room, or even some gentle stretching. The goal is to move in a way that feels good to you. Research supports the idea that even 20-30 minutes of activity a day can be immensely beneficial for mental and physical health. Not only that, exercising can help you connect to inner sensations of strength and that can help you build your capacity to stay present and resilient during hard times.

2. Breathing
   Slow, deep breathing can directly influence your nervous system, signaling your body to relax. The Nagoskis recommend the “slow, deep breath” technique: inhale deeply for five counts, hold for five counts, and then exhale slowly for ten counts. This intentional breathing slows your heart rate, reduces blood pressure, and helps bring your body back to a balanced state.

3. Positive Social Interaction
   Connecting with others is essential for completing the stress cycle. Casual social interactions, like chatting with a friend, sharing a laugh with a coworker, or even exchanging a kind word with a stranger, can signal to your brain that you’re safe. This, in turn, helps release the grip of stress. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reaching out to someone for even a brief interaction can be a powerful way to reset. I’m a huge proponent of making it a regular practice to send your friends voice notes. There’s something about hearing the tone of your friend’s voice that can be instantly regulating and help your system feel into experiences of safety and belonging.

4. Laughter
   Laughter is an immediate stress reliever, releasing endorphins and lowering cortisol levels. Whether it’s watching a funny movie, spending time with someone who makes you laugh, or even laughing at yourself, don’t underestimate the power of humor to help you process stress. “What’s something that made you laugh this week?” Is a question I frequently as clients because it can help you connect to sensations of pleasure 

5. Physical Affection
   Physical touch, whether it’s a hug, a gentle hand on your shoulder, or a cuddle with a pet, can be incredibly soothing. Live alone? Try a weighted blanket or even soothing self-touch like placing your hands over your chest or giving yourself a hug. This kind of positive touch communicates safety and connection to your brain. In fact, studies show that a 20-second hug can help lower blood pressure and release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes relaxation.

6. Creative Expression
   Activities like drawing, painting, singing, or writing can be ways to process and release stress. Creative expression taps into different areas of the brain, providing a constructive outlet for complex emotions. It doesn’t matter if you’re “good” at it; the key is simply to engage in the act of creation.

Building a Routine Around Stress Recovery

Incorporating stress-relief practices into your daily routine can help you manage stress before it escalates. Start with small steps—maybe you commit to a 5-minute breathing exercise each morning or a quick walk after work. Over time, these small actions build up, giving your body the consistent support it needs to process stress in healthy ways.

Balance might be a myth, but there might be more stability available for you than you imagine…

Understanding and completing the stress cycle can be really helpful for you, your nervous system, and the relationships and communities that you build into and care for. By incorporating these practices into your life, you can create a routine that not only reduces the harmful effects of stress but also fosters greater well-being. Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate stress but to handle it in a way that serves you and allows the work that you are doing to be sustainable. 

If you are realizing the stress you’re experiencing is taking up more and more space, therapy can be an invaluable resource. At Fig Holistic Psychotherapy in Charlotte, NC, we explore your story with stress and worry and explore how to care for those parts of you. Anxiety therapy and somatic therapy are both really helpful in supporting you and your nervous system to tolerate and stay present with more discomfort. The work as we mentioned before, isn’t about getting rid of the stress, rather it’s about learning how to be with it and release it in ways that feel good and connecting for you. 

We offer in person sessions in Charlotte, NC and are available for virtual counseling for all folks living in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Texas. Reach out today to schedule a complimentary 20 minute phone consult to see if working together feels like a great fit for you and what you’re needing!